Saturday, December 18, 2010

Rainy show

In Sarasota. At an art show. In the rain. Yes, it is just as miserable as it sounds. The only things making it bearable are the Starbuck's coffee and my pain meds. Have to move the truck every 2 hours 'cause the roof storage won't fit in the parking garage. Meh.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Mobile blogging

Testing this out with a little nothing post and a pic of my office wall.
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Anytime Fitness has several locations near our house.  No info on website about price.  I'll try to get home tonight early enough to get there before they close (hopefully they'll have a yoga for spazs class)

Monday, December 13, 2010

Internal bullies and the hunt for a boyfriend

I've decided to chronicle my hunt for a boyfriend here, mostly as a spur to keep me moving forward. Most of the difficulties I am having in getting started in this search are related to my self-esteem issues, which is frustrating as hell.  I have been fighting this for my entire life.  I push through it, and it jumps up again and slaps me back down.  Too fat, too short, ugly, bad skin.  The litany rings through my head.  Now that I have to use a cane to walk, add cripple to the list.  It is actually worse when the bullies screaming the abuse are in your head rather than physically present.  At least I can fight the physical ones.  Let the berserker loose and see red for a while.  Never solved anything, but it sure made me feel better!!  Now that the abuse is internal, turning the berserker loose only raises my blood pressure and turns me into a reactionary asshole to the people I love.  I cannot allow this to continue.  I can't expect to find a man to love me (or to keep Brett's love, for that matter) if I continue this self hatred.  The easiest way I can think of to change my self image is to get in better shape. Step 1:  Join yoga class at gym (related sub-step:  Join Gym)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Google Chrome

Chrome has been my go-to browser for some time.  The speed, stability and cross-platform compatibility, added with the syncing of bookmarks and settings between all my various machines puts it head and shoulders above it's competition.  Now with the addition of Chrome apps ... I am simply blown away.  Really looking forward to Chrome OS.  Srsly.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Frustrated and angry and ashamed

The spate of GLBT teen suicides in the past few weeks has left me feeling furious at the bullying idiots who are causing this, and frustrated at my inability to do anything about it.  I was relentlessly tormented by bullies as a child, due to my essential geekiness, the fact that I am and have always been, somewhat overweight (to this day I have body image issues because of this), and my various allergies and infirmities. I managed to keep the fact that I am gay hidden.  The fact that I had to, out of self preservation and a crushing desire to 'fit in', participate in bullying as well as experience it, is one of the greatest shames of my life.  I am all too aware that the damage I caused is done.  Nothing I can do can ever make it better.  There is no way to right those wrongs.  I have never apologized to the people whom I denigrated, never reached out to them to tell them that it was me who was wrong, me who was different, me who was hurting.  That I was trying to make my shame and hurt go away by pushing it onto them, as if by making someone else feel those feeling, I wouldn't have too.  I have never told them that it didn't work.  That while I may have succeeded in forcing my hidden internal feelings onto them, that did nothing to expiate those feelings.  It, in fact, made them worse.  I need to find them and beg for their forgiveness.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Melbourne Art Show

Best. Show. Ever!!!  Great show, great crowd, decent sales, and best of all, our tent was only a few feet from the front door of Meg O'Malley's, an Irish pub that serves the absolute best Irish food I've ever had.  The potato, bacon, leek soup was phenomenal, and the Bangers and Mash was just perfect.  Oh, yeah, the Irish Coffee was great, too.  Great food, great music, and a wonderful wait staff, FTW!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My wife is trying to set me up with a boyfriend....

Ok, so my wife is planning a northern art show run this summer.  A few months away doing the (hopefully) more profitable northern shows.  She has decided that I need a boyfriend while she is gone (no objection here), so I don't get too lonely.  This weekend, while we were at Artigras, she brings by a candidate.  While I cannot fault her taste (OMG he was HAWT!!!), her timing sucks.  I was getting over a chest cold, had skipped a shower, AND was having a bad skin day.  I was mortified.  I'm glad she was thinking of me, but, come on, a little warning to freshen up would have gone a long way.  Fortunately, he's doing several of the same shows we are this spring, so I'll get the chance to make a better impression...